spreading the news

So I told one of my best friends today. I was kind, I waited until she had parked her car. She is probably the most rationale of my friends, so I knew she would be okay and i knew she would make me feel better, as well as understand why I was freaking out. She did make me feel better, and we even joked about how she was going to make me a bumper sticker that says "be nice to me, I have a brain tumor". We laughed really hard, really hard and that felt really good! And then later in the day I realized how many other people I have to tell when and if I have to tell people. There's at least 10 other people, who I will need to tell in person, preferably all at the same time. This sucks. I'm just going to keep the faith that I won't have to tell anyone anything. How does that sound?

how appropriate....

it's interesting that I should title my blog "what's inside my head" cause lo and behold there's something in my head that shouldn't be there. I have a pituitary tumor. it's tiny and it may turn out to be completely non functional, or it could turn out to completely mess with one or all of about 12 hormones in my body, so many questions that I have. it was found after I fell down 15 stairs in my house. I ended up with only a right sprained ankle and a bruised left foot. I have no recollection of falling so they scanned my head.... and there it is. Is it going to grow, if it's non-functioning now will it be functioning later. I'm scared. I just don't know. I told my Mom and told her i didn't want to to tell my brother cause I didn't want my niece to know. He called today asking if I was okay cause I was acting weird on Friday, he asked if everything was okay medically. I think my Mother told her something. I'll be so mad. It doesn't matter if she thinks he should be told, it's what I think that matters, isn't it. 5 people know, that's enough for now until I have more answers. there are just so many questions that are not answered and I'm kind of a control freak and I don't like not knowing. I just don't know.......